Sunday, January 18, 2009

staying strong

I am under 1000 cals, but a lot. I think for the day Ive had about 830 cals, and that includes the wine I am sipping on as I type.

And no purge, heck I didnt even stock up on any binge food today... I am clean, and hoping to stay that way through the rest of the night.

I turned in a couple job applications today. Pray that I get call backs and interviews. Not a whole lot of homework ton, and I didnt make it to the gym classes like I had hope, but I dont care. Applying for jobs was more important. And eating when I was hungry, so that I dont have a BP later... way more important.

I am feeling alright too. Up beat, and smiling. Its been a really good day. I even did my hair straight and put on cute clothes, wore a real bra. Did the works for the job applying and I fell really god about that. Its amazing how your day can shape with a  little sunshine and liking how you look... the wine might also be helping. I knew I wanted some later, as a reward for no BPing, so I have been saving my daily cals for it. I am so glad I did because it is hitting the spot. And as much as I love my sister, having her not in the apartment when I eat and prepare meals is a blessing. I can be myself.... Its just weird sometimes you know, when she and her friends are around in the common room. The kitchen is adjacent and my room requires me walking through from the kitchen through the common room carrying my plate of veggies and weird diet food. I always feel judged, paranoid I am sure. But still, I enjoy eating when no one is home....

We are counting down the minutes till the new president! How exciting we get to live during this time and moments. Amazing..

I am going to find a good movie to watch on tv. Me, myself, and my wine... goodnight for now

1 comment:

  1. Wow!!! Yay you, good job on the not BPing! And i too am crazy excited about our new Pres, its gonna be a good 4 years, i can feel it! I hope you keep up the good work. I just joined the ana community, thought a blog might help the anxiety a little! Check it out if you want! :)