dinner was yummy.... still bp later though. im pissed about it. I think my jaw is swollen from doing it like multiple times each day this week.

BUT... no sex with cameron, no nothing. I help my ground. And we had fun, I laughed a ton. I hate that wine has calories. And it makes me eat.... and why do i worship the scale even at night. I am so irritated because I do really well restricting during the day, eating really healthy. and then BOOK night time, its dark I binge... there was a .6 increase on the scale and I am in a fowl mood.

I am in a fowl mood because I didnt get to the gym bc my prof mtg went late and cameron gave over.

My day is light tomorrow. I need to finish my annotated bibliography, thats my major homework priority, and need to practice the lessons that I teach on thursday. Im flipping nervous bout that too. I dont want to look incompetent or stupid.  I just want to be good at it, good at something...

So, I go to teach in the morning, then back to my house to change clothes and eat, more coffee, switch bags and books and then i plan on hiking to campus and staying there to late evening.I  will meet with Deanna at 1pm for coffee, then class, then rec center till 8. A nice long rec session should cure my woes, pray, I need to make sure then that I get all my school work done prior to Deanna.

I have to get my shit in order, my ducks in a row, especially since I will hopefully start work this weekend. New things, changes, freak me out. I think thats my problem...

Im just so freaking nervous.... anxious?