Tuesday, December 23, 2008


I cant find my breakfast spoon. I always eat with this spoon. ALWAYS! My stuff keeps disappearing on me, and I am thinking my parents have something to do with it. My OCD can play a lot into my habits, DUH, thats why its OCD, and my parents like to " mix things up on me". grrr

Things that I hate:
- other people watching me eat, or in the same room as me when I eat
- comments on how fast someone else may have eaten there food fore it only makes me eat slower because basically you just announced you thought the person that ate fast was a pig
- salad dressing already on the salad
- cold food, i like my food piping hot. I am constantly reheating my food and coffee.
- cold coffee... gross
- red meat
- I hate catching myself taking too big of bites of food, or eating too fast, or not waiting enough time in between bites
- how my parents will shop for food for my younger sister to eat, food that she likes, but refuse to do the same for me, because that would be enabling my eating disorder! Sorry parents that I would like to eat whole foods, produce, and not junk, fast food, or processed food with a lot of sodium. I can still be nutritious and conscious of eating choices and not be anorexic. And its so ok for me to prefer different foods than the family. Big whoop parents. big whoop.
- I'll just put it out there: My younger sister. The only thing I can be or do to top here, is to be skinnier than here.
- When I purge, I get heartburn for days, and bloody noses, and swollen throat
- I hate that started to eat again for now its like I cant stop.
- I hate that I love food so much, so much that I binge and purge often, like often often. Put it this way, its hard for me to go a day without purging, and more than two without bingeing and purging.
- I hate that I am not a better anorexic, and that I am considered bulimic. 
- Oh and I hate people that don't change the fucking toilet paper roll when they use the last of it!!!!

more to be cont...

1 comment:

  1. I'm totally with you, especially #2,#3 (omg yes), #6, #10. I've been doing good not purging, maybe a week? Ugh.