Monday, March 30, 2009

110lbs!!!! update: its been awhile and a lot has occured

so much to write about: but first! food report, and yes I rocked the scale this AM at 110lbs
Breakfast:
0-coffee

lunch:
30-carrot
0- garlic
20- 1/2 yellow onion
30- bamboo shoots
16- 4 mushrooms

snack:
80- sugarfree jello

I made soup for later:
90 -2 tbs brown rice 
30- chicken broth
75- tomato basil soup mix
15- 1/2 carrot
0- garlic

im trying to stay under 700 cals today, and no purging

I start classes again tomorrow, its a bitter sweet feeling. Break was way too short. I got great grades though!

So I went to a house party on Saturday night. I had a blast, but I didnt really eat much before hand. Actually, I bpd right before walking into the party. I had drinks, but I didnt think I had too much, but I ended up blacking out, collapsing, and unconscious. The guy I am interested in, we have been going out and fooling around over the last 2 months, but it was his party. He was so concerned about me they called an ambulance! Talk about embarrassing! I went over to his house last night to get the play play, and my word, I really like Nick. It is just so sweet, and takes care of me. Hes great. He even knows about my eating issues, not the bping or purging, but just that I can be weird around food and I am working on it. He knows I was in treatment before, but hes so chill and cool with it. He has a flaw, but its him complimenting me all the time, telling me I am perfect the way I am, that Im cute. Too sweet for him. We cuddle, and sleep intertwined. I love it.  And hes 29, and just so yummy to look at.  I want this to blossom and be more than just fooling around, but he has made it very clear he doesn't want a girlfriend, and I don't necessarily want a boyfriend. I just really enjoy being with him and hanging out. anyways.... that was my weekend. Sunday I was dry heaving and couldn't keep anything down. 

And I was trying to eat! But nope.... hence be being dehydrated and probably why weight low today. I ate a lot of sodium today, so if my weight is different tomorrow I am going to be ok with it. I need control the bping... and maybe not be so focused on losing weight. I need to shift my thinking into limiting the binging and purging, stop spending so much money on bping, I need to save my money or I will be in dept really bad and in major conflict with parents, and I need to get back into extreme workout mode. Working out is great for me mentally. I take care of myself this quarter, or summer will be awful!

ok,
off to shower, buy textbooks, and work out. Probably a nap later, and more coffee.
Later

2 comments:

  1. Oh that sounds rough (the party), but I'm glad your boy is sympathetic and sounds lovely.

    I think your last bit is a fantastic goal to work on right now; you can do it and we're supporting you!

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  2. good for you! The not eating very much anc then drinking it gets me every time.. but Omg ambulance.. Id would be sooo embarassed.Your guy sounds cute! :) good luuck

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