Monday, March 30, 2009

110lbs!!!! update: its been awhile and a lot has occured

so much to write about: but first! food report, and yes I rocked the scale this AM at 110lbs

0- garlic
20- 1/2 yellow onion
30- bamboo shoots
16- 4 mushrooms

80- sugarfree jello

I made soup for later:
90 -2 tbs brown rice 
30- chicken broth
75- tomato basil soup mix
15- 1/2 carrot
0- garlic

im trying to stay under 700 cals today, and no purging

I start classes again tomorrow, its a bitter sweet feeling. Break was way too short. I got great grades though!

So I went to a house party on Saturday night. I had a blast, but I didnt really eat much before hand. Actually, I bpd right before walking into the party. I had drinks, but I didnt think I had too much, but I ended up blacking out, collapsing, and unconscious. The guy I am interested in, we have been going out and fooling around over the last 2 months, but it was his party. He was so concerned about me they called an ambulance! Talk about embarrassing! I went over to his house last night to get the play play, and my word, I really like Nick. It is just so sweet, and takes care of me. Hes great. He even knows about my eating issues, not the bping or purging, but just that I can be weird around food and I am working on it. He knows I was in treatment before, but hes so chill and cool with it. He has a flaw, but its him complimenting me all the time, telling me I am perfect the way I am, that Im cute. Too sweet for him. We cuddle, and sleep intertwined. I love it.  And hes 29, and just so yummy to look at.  I want this to blossom and be more than just fooling around, but he has made it very clear he doesn't want a girlfriend, and I don't necessarily want a boyfriend. I just really enjoy being with him and hanging out. anyways.... that was my weekend. Sunday I was dry heaving and couldn't keep anything down. 

And I was trying to eat! But nope.... hence be being dehydrated and probably why weight low today. I ate a lot of sodium today, so if my weight is different tomorrow I am going to be ok with it. I need control the bping... and maybe not be so focused on losing weight. I need to shift my thinking into limiting the binging and purging, stop spending so much money on bping, I need to save my money or I will be in dept really bad and in major conflict with parents, and I need to get back into extreme workout mode. Working out is great for me mentally. I take care of myself this quarter, or summer will be awful!

off to shower, buy textbooks, and work out. Probably a nap later, and more coffee.


  1. Oh that sounds rough (the party), but I'm glad your boy is sympathetic and sounds lovely.

    I think your last bit is a fantastic goal to work on right now; you can do it and we're supporting you!

  2. good for you! The not eating very much anc then drinking it gets me every time.. but Omg ambulance.. Id would be sooo embarassed.Your guy sounds cute! :) good luuck