Monday, March 30, 2009

does anyone have anything that works to help them stay BP free for a single day? Maybe I need to lower my expectations of oneself. Because I think average 3-4 purging episodes a day, and have been doing that for the last 2 months. Everyday. Everyday. How sick is that? 

and one would have thought my hungover experience would have curbed my ED behaviors, but no. Maybe I bp really bad tonight, because
 A I didnt give  a fuck, 
B there was money in my account, 
C because I had been doing it all day and its like Pringles once you pop you just cant stop 
D I feel really really crappy about the weekend 
and E new quarter new classes nerves
and F my usual guilty behaviors and old patterns are just hard to override. 

Also, does anyone know of birth control pills that will not make me gain weight, or maybe help with losing weight?


  1. You could consider getting the implant - it lasts three years and releases a steady stream of hormones rather than a cyclical one so it doesnt mess with eating/fluctuation so much...

    on the BP front, i too find it a really hard cycle to break once i'm there. Obviously the key is to stop the bingeing, which i managed for the first time yesterday. But i had to allow myself a 'normal' cal day in order not to purge what i had eating. you have to practise at the not sending it all back down the toilet before you can safely restrict again and know that you have the self control not to binge again. I managed it for the first day yesterday and i think it was thanks to this article...
    it really helped me to think about what in my brain was causing the bingeing rather than some mythical monster which wanted carbs all the time. Hope you find your way back soon! Lulu x

  2. Wish I could help you with the BC, but I've actually been wondering that myself! The only way I know to thwart a bp sesh would be to constantly have people around so it's just now possible.

  3. I'm so sorry that you are struggling over the B/P issue. Please be careful. I know you know... ♥