Thursday, February 5, 2009

finnnik- your not creepy! get that out of your head. Isn't this what blogger is for? For everyone to share and combine insights, motivate and encourage! Advice and ask questions. At least, thats what Im doing here. I use it as a dairy in sorts too. 

Im able to maintain 113lbs quite easily at my height. Eating around 1200 calories, I do work out though and walk to school and back, and other places (I've been wearing my pedometer and it says I clock about 4 miles a day in walking from rise to bedtime). My college town is pretty small so driving is not necessary to get to most places, or even easier to get to by bus then trying to find a place to park, or pay to park.

I eat a pretty simple diet, no fluff (except for my bingeing purging tendencies, with the stress of homework over the last week and midterms I can admit and will admit was completely and utterly out of control). So I say I can maintain a weight, but I do engage in unhealthy behaviors.  I have been lower at 108 and still had a period, felt strong and active in my life in a normal way. Its up to your body, if you body is fighting a lower weight, showing signs of stress and that it wont handle your weight or body fat going any lower then STOP. We get one body in this life, and one body only. Its not worth.... listen everyone.... it is not worth life time complications. or death. 

Think, im curious. What is everyones motivation to lose weight in the first place? You think about why we do what we do? Obsess and pray to the all mighty scale? Why we we'll bring ourselves to do the unhealthy things we do, all in the name of weight loss? Just notice over the next few days and get back to me....

I think my motivation to lose weight is to feel good about myself, to like myself, to feel more confident in myself. When I have confidence and like what I see in the mirror, my outlook in life is ten times improved. Im more upbeat, less irritable, and less likely to take things too personally or in a the wrong way. I am so much happier. Thats why I want to lose weight, to be happy again.. and to attract the love of my life and eventually get married and have kids. lol

I might finish this later, I must jet to class. I hope to make it there in time, and afterwards hit the gym for a spin class and ab lab.

so far today under 500 caloreis


  1. It makes me happy to hear you can maintain 113 on 1200 a day. It gives me hope that I can reach and maintain (maintain being the key word) 120 (ish)

    In answer to your question...

    There is a combination of reasons I’m motivated to lose weight is how I’m treated/regarded when I’m smaller. I notice a HUGE difference in how people strangers & friends treat me when I am thinner. The way my clothing fits, and the increased clothing options available to me when I’m smaller is also motivating. When bigger, I have to look for things that hide ‘problem areas’.

    The MAIN factor however is I absolutely, absolutely hate my legs (thighs) they are out of proportion with the rest of my body, and I know at lower weights they thin out and I look ok. When I’m thinner I don’t have people doing this: at a party (I was 5’8 prob around 145) talking to friends when randomly another ‘friend’ came up to the group and in front of a group of people (including people I didn’t know), pointed out loudly how I have big legs, (it was an announcement &every shut up and looked at me) she stood side by side with me, compared my thigh to hers, said how huge it was, how I had the biggest legs out of all of our friends, etc. I was completely mortified. How could I not feel like shit? I feel pressure to lose weight or else be ridiculed. I like the feeling of being treated nicely rather than being singled out for fatness.

    I think we do the things we do because we don’t know how to any other way.

  2. my motivation is just like yours - but i already have the love of my life and a child - i just need more confidence - when i am feeling good about myself cause i weigh less then my relationship with my hubby is thousands times better - he's younger than me and he's hot - a quite buff latin man - so i have to keep him interested

  3. I don't know how my life will be different when I'm thin... but it's gotta be better than the way it is now

  4. My motivation to lose weight is to deal with stress better. After having an ED for 20 years, you lose the ability to deal with hardship any other way--and it's frustrating. I want to have a life, have kids, be happy, and I know being thin won't give me those things, but how do you stop doing the only thing you've known how to do? My advice: you're young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Get the help now before 5, 10, 20 more years go by and you've realized how much time was wasted in the pursuit of unhappiness. In the grand scheme of life, does an extra 10 pounds really equal happiness? I can't wait until I get to the point in my life when I don't care about 5, 10, extra pounds. Living is happiness.

  5. Interesting question.

    I think my reason would be that noticing my bad bits makes me feel so unhappy but thats probably a symptom right!?
    If i had to be honest with myself I probably do it because in my twisted head i blame my weight as the reason I dont have a boyfriend, and believe everything would be different if i was just a bit thinner. which is hugely untrue, i know i am attractive to plenty of guys and that my problem lies in my low self esteem... But the guys I want all have super thin gfs and i compare myself to them.

    And on a more superficial level i want to be able to wear crazy shit MK Olsen style and look cute and not batshit crazy...