How am I going to tell my parents. What are they going to say back to me in response? Why wont my tears start flowing as much as I want them too. I don't want my parents to be disappointed in me. I don't want them to reject me.
You know I am kinda pissed too. Other individuals in my program are still purging and they arent being sent away to higher level of care. Thats not fair. Why am I getting all the stern talks and speaking toos. He should be sent back to impatient. He is purging. I am not. That I am sooooo stinking proud of. I have not purged since Aug 24, like 20 days now. HOOOORAY for me, but is that good enough for my current treatment team. No. I have to comply with my meal plan and gain alllll this weight. I drink the ensures and cringe, but I do it. Ok sure I played games with it in the beginning but Im not this week of part of last week. I want more time to prove to them I can do this. To prove to myself I can do this. Its really hard though. That disease voice screams in my ear when I leave program. I always have the intention of eating my full exchanges at dinner, and to be honest, I am really bad at eating a snack. But doesn't my efforts and my trying account for anything? I hope so. I really am doing the best that I can. I haven't lied to anyone or manipulate my weight or anything like that. AGain, hooray for me.
ok, sleeping meds are kicking in. Gnight for now. Take care and wish me the best.