I knew it was coming. But did I subconsciously make or want this to happen? I am not sure. I think my treatment team thinks that I enjoy being inpatient. Grant it there are some comforts to it, for instance being taken care of, more support, which I need. Did I need to go so far to prove that I am that sick? What am I doing? Why am I still restricting, and playing this eating disorder game. Answers unknown at this moment. I am just typing from the heart (as well as waiting for my whitening teeth strips to be over). My night time meds are kicking in so I am going to retire back to my bedroom. Goodnight my friends
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
going back inpatient on Monday
my labs are fine, my blood pressure is low, HR was 82, yet my lack of following a meal plan and restricting, and losing weight has my partial treatment program discharging me to inpatient. I will be attending UCLA 90% sure. I have chatted with them today and everything seems set for monday, UCLA is checking my benefits as we speak. I am hoping to hear from them tomorrow. The sooner the better just so I have plans, something solidifying, so I am not in limbo anymore. This sucks going back. Giving up my liberties once again. This will be number 4 for inpatient "visits."