Thursday, May 14, 2009

I am at her house again tonight. This is really weird. I promised her I would eat something before bed. She is really concerned, and I am trying not to blow her off. But I have to lose more weight. 110 is too fat. She is like... eat a little every three hours and dont purge for the next three weeks, like that is soooo easy to do.  She is like a mom to me in a weird she is my teacher mentor kind of way. 

I agreed to come to her house tonight to keep me safe from binging and so that I can complete an assignment. I dont want those f@ing calories near me, and for tonight I am safe from that behavior. I will face that demon tomorrow. 

this is just really weird. I need to get the paper done. Off my chest and turned in. I have a really really really long and stressful weekend ahead of em

all i want to though is sleep and melt away and disappear and not feel

oh... and Nick texts me to hang out tonight. Of all nights! and I cant.... crummy

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