update

I wasn't in the mood the last couple of nights to journal, but tonight I have some spare energy. I made RT weight meaning I weight 109.2lbs I has to deal with my anxiety on that but now I was RT, which is recreational therapy. I can lift weights in the morning and at 9am I can walk or jog, or running after all of that is approved. Getting RT was one of my short term goals so yippe I did it. I was told my target weight range for my height I need to be 116-121Lbs. So then my disease mind says whattTTTTTTT that so high, but wisemind 115 isnt that bad. It might even look good on me. I had another patient say to me that I still looked really thin, which my ED voiced loved. Have I told you the last few days I have been eating one on one in my bedroom. Because something like my crying or hiding food would or has been upsetting the table or triggering. Well today was my first lunch back with the girls and guy and I think it went well. Definitely more entertaining then eating alone with a staff member.

I purged my lunch today. I told the staff and she did her job, made me sit down with two cups of ensure at "replace" me. How did I purge in an inpatient hospital? Well normal my door is lock, same with the bathroom door and today a I went to my room hoping it would be the case. Long and behold it was, and the next think I knew I purged and purged again.

I think I am getting over a bug. Some of the gals here are sick. I just have been sleeping a lot lately. And get this... it is now in my doctors orders no sleeping past too. Whops, failed that one. I slept during the community meeting just like I did last night and the move.