111.7 where did that come from?

Hi all. Gooooooood Morning. It stopped raining! And the sun is back, briefly for today only, but what a glorious sunshine it is. Its freezing cold though, and not just me. It is literally 32 degrees, or 0, outside. BRRR. Last night after work I had to deice and scrape my car.

seriously, 111.7lbs this morning. Holy moly and I pepped. I hope it stays. Its just what I needed to, to get my gears in motion this morning. I slept in way to late, but now I dont care. I have to work again, and again tomorrow, and again on Wednesday, so my head is overloaded with all the stuff and assignments and prep work I have to do. At least now at practicum, the script is more naturally, I have done it so many times I dont have to practice as much. 

ummm... coffee

and ummmm broccoli

and ummmm oatmeal with blueberries!

Thats what I am eating today, more specifically

8c coffee

3/4c soy milk

4c raw broccoli, but then I cooked it

1/2c dry oatmeal

1/4c unsweetened blueberries

tbs what germ

tbs nutritional yeast

not a whole lot of calories, but lets hope I dont cave into the food munching temptations at work and stay on the low calorie side.

My sister, god love her to death, but.... last night I came home from work and see was drunk, and her guy friend andrew was over. This morning, I wake up to her making pancakes with Steve.... I am so confused. lol

ok, I need to get to doing something productive other than blogger.

Have a great day lovelies! 

finnnik- your not creepy! get that out of your head. Isn't this what blogger is for? For everyone to share and combine insights, motivate and encourage! Advice and ask questions. At least, thats what Im doing here. I use it as a dairy in sorts too. 

Im able to maintain 113lbs quite easily at my height. Eating around 1200 calories, I do work out though and walk to school and back, and other places (I've been wearing my pedometer and it says I clock about 4 miles a day in walking from rise to bedtime). My college town is pretty small so driving is not necessary to get to most places, or even easier to get to by bus then trying to find a place to park, or pay to park.

I eat a pretty simple diet, no fluff (except for my bingeing purging tendencies, with the stress of homework over the last week and midterms I can admit and will admit was completely and utterly out of control). So I say I can maintain a weight, but I do engage in unhealthy behaviors.  I have been lower at 108 and still had a period, felt strong and active in my life in a normal way. Its up to your body, if you body is fighting a lower weight, showing signs of stress and that it wont handle your weight or body fat going any lower then STOP. We get one body in this life, and one body only. Its not worth.... listen everyone.... it is not worth life time complications. or death. 

Think, im curious. What is everyones motivation to lose weight in the first place? You think about why we do what we do? Obsess and pray to the all mighty scale? Why we we'll bring ourselves to do the unhealthy things we do, all in the name of weight loss? Just notice over the next few days and get back to me....

I think my motivation to lose weight is to feel good about myself, to like myself, to feel more confident in myself. When I have confidence and like what I see in the mirror, my outlook in life is ten times improved. Im more upbeat, less irritable, and less likely to take things too personally or in a the wrong way. I am so much happier. Thats why I want to lose weight, to be happy again.. and to attract the love of my life and eventually get married and have kids. lol

I might finish this later, I must jet to class. I hope to make it there in time, and afterwards hit the gym for a spin class and ab lab.

so far today under 500 caloreis

113lbs

my ED looks for reasons and excuses to binge. He is the blame

thanks for the comments and words of encouragement. I come home from school or work and Im so excited to see if anyone has wrote comments or blogged.

Jenna- yes I do sign

My day turned out to be alright. I started off on the wrong side of, but turned it around. I worked and had a great shift.  I accomplished some major school midterm and homework stressors, and the week is almost over.

maybe ill even wear my hair down

and 

listen to Beautiful you are. I love that song