Tuesday, November 24, 2009

prep for my trip

I get to go to the east coast tomorrow. I'm flying out at noon. My cousin is picking me up, and taking me to dinner. Thursday morning I will go with her and her hubbie to the big thanksgiving fiasco! No one from my immediate family is going, just me, and I am totally stoked.

found out today that I am in my weight range
sweetness!- but after finding that out, I didnt eat a snack, and I restricted on dinner, and I have this intense urge to purge, and binge. self sabotage? ED telling me good, lie and lose weight. Lose weight lose weight lose weight! My body image is really negative and I am awfully critical of my thighs and my stomach. I bought clothes so when on my trip I can hide my stomach. Yuck, I hate how untoned and unfit I am.

I had breakfast and lunch in program
for dinner
slice of pumpkin bread
diet pepsi
1c cooked broccoli/ cauliflower
1-1 1/2c cooked white bean something with a little bit of bacon and who knows
3 bites of apple
1c mashed potatoes with butter?
and of course a big glass of water

1 comment:

  1. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to change your thought process. You've come so much further in the recovery process than anyone else I've read about, that just takes some SERIOUS strength and well, GUTS. Maybe even balls. You my dear, have metaphorical balls! Hang in there, if anyone has the willpower to change in this way, it is YOU.