top ramen at the store was 7 for $1.oo. I couldnt resist. 

i did really well today. Still had a bp, but it was on the minor and after 9pm. At I put it off, and saved it. I feel really ok with it. I was to control it, and limit it and make smart choice about it.

and the top ramen, was delicious!

woke up weird

i woke up with a nasty cold. But I feel like something bad happened to me last night and that I had angels with me. Its really hard to explain the feelinging. Last night a bad cold, flu like thing emerged in me and I kept waking in the middle of the night. Dont have much memory of the night, but I just feel like someone was with me, in my room. kinda of freaked but comforting at the same time.

I havent eaten anything but coffee so far today. I did go to the gym for a half hour but burned only 250cals. I am going to try and go again after my evening class for another half hour.

nap time... welcome to spring quarter classes

does anyone have anything that works to help them stay BP free for a single day? Maybe I need to lower my expectations of oneself. Because I think average 3-4 purging episodes a day, and have been doing that for the last 2 months. Everyday. Everyday. How sick is that? 

and one would have thought my hungover experience would have curbed my ED behaviors, but no. Maybe I bp really bad tonight, because

 A I didnt give  a fuck, 

B there was money in my account, 

C because I had been doing it all day and its like Pringles once you pop you just cant stop 

D I feel really really crappy about the weekend 

and E new quarter new classes nerves

and F my usual guilty behaviors and old patterns are just hard to override. 

Also, does anyone know of birth control pills that will not make me gain weight, or maybe help with losing weight?