answering comments

I am not deaf, but Cameron is (congenitally) , and deafness runs in my family

btw, a cup = 8oz = 16tbs= 48tsps.... and yes I am that cool to know all that. hope that helps to those/ whom asks

I love and am addicted to coffee that people often feel compelled to comment on it

The first thing I do when I get out of bed , is make my bed. It feels great to accomplish something first thing in the morning

Without the gym, I took 8657 steps, with the gym add another 2600, so total over 11000. My goal is to go at least 10,000 a day.

on the evening, i weighed 112.9 with body fat of 17% according to my scale. lets hope for the same or better reading in the am. My waist is still 24, so close to 23.5 inches, butt around 35inches, hips 31. Im very narrow and then a big wide ass. I hate it. And then I have 17inch thighs. gross. I want my size zero body back. and to be 109lbs

I worked hard on my transcribe of my lesson for reading mastery. I look like a dork, but it sure is interesting to see my flaws and areas of improvement. Also, gives a confidence boost that I am doing somethings right. Its just one bitch of an assignment, excuse my french.

No luck on getting to bed on a descent hour. If only I could stop bingeing. It makes home ten times longer, and sleep later, and all sorts. I just need to stop. I couldn't even go a full half hour at the gym, I got to thinking about stealing to afford bingeing and then bingeing obscured all other thoughts. I went home and my sister wasn't there so I started to cook something healthy and Im not sure what snapped in me, because my intent was not too but I ended up bingeing anyway. Went to starbucks just to get food to binge. lame ass Robin. Lame....

tomorrow is another day

brief check in...

so far so good

113.1lbs this morning, and am awaiting the effects of the high fiber extra water i imposed last night and this morning. 

did my video recording, i look sooooo goofy, but its done with. Now just have to complete the long ass assignment that goes with it. i have to transcribe the video, word for word. All 15 minutes....

Food wise: (so far, including my packed lunch)

1/c c oatmeal 1/2 apple

1/4c nonfat milk 1 carrot

8c coffee 100cals of broccoli cooked

18oz water

tbs. wheat germ

tbs. nutritional yeast

1/2 apple

and i have taken 1300 steps..... a long way to go to 10,000! and the pedometer says i have only burned a measly 34 calories =(

off to campus I go, yay classes!

thank goodness!

despite the binging, I still weigh 113.4lbs

despite no period, i took a prego test and it was negative, which is fantastic. My child would have had all sorts of problems, not to mention like a 75% chance it would be deaf if you do the matrix. And I am 22, too young! 

despite myself, i still managed to get my draft done, and prep done for practicum,

So far I am holding my studies together... barely, but all that matters is that i am managing

i went to jello shot party on saturday, and guys flirted with me. I was thrilled! And my friend Katie pulled me into a room and told me I was getting too fucking skinny. Again, I was thrilled. She said it in a concerned way, but who cares, that night I looked skinny and I felt great. 

I have not been making it to the gym. I claim its b/c of too much homework, but really i just want to go home and binge and or go to the store and binge. Bingeing seems to be all i do.

I dont have a whole lot to say. I haven't been keeping up to my expectations, or to any of you gals successes. I am just trying to get through the day alive and well, just alive. Thats enough for me. And to extra winks in, and to go a couple hours without food and without thinking of bingeing is a success. 

As long as my scale stays under 114lbs.... I can manage. 

and i have been so down on myself I couldn't even bring myself to post. So my goal tomorrow is to check in and... POST!

Tomorrows plan of attack

1. No bingeing,

2. No purging

3. 45 mins of exercise

4. Wear my pedometer and see how many steps I do in a normal tuesday (minus gym time)

5. Video my practicum session. 

6. Complete part of my assignment that goes with the video taping

7. Do my article review for behavior interventions class

8. Go to all my classes (surprisingly I haven't skipped any yet!)

9. Laugh out loud at least twice

10. Say something nice, and appreciating to my sister

11. Call my dad, and like the above- say something nice and appreciating, and I will add not raise my tone and voice, be civil

12. Be Ok with what I eat

13. Post and plan out my attack for Wednesday ( I have a 2hr essay online midterm, and I picked up a shift at work)

Foodwise:

4c coffee apple large   pkg salmon

tbs nonfat milk 1 pkg raw broccoli tbs fat free sour cream

1/3c bran flax hot cereal 1 carrot bag of cooked veggies

tbs nutritonal yeast 1/2 onion 13 gluten free herb crackers

tbs wheat germ 1 pkg sliced mushrooms 4c coffee

18oz H2o 18oz H2o 18oz H2o

total calories: 1000 calories or less